A comprehensive list of all the things I worry about when I think of moving to a new town

When I am very homesick, I like to think about all the things that worry me about moving to a new town. Here is that list:

How will I know what coffee shops are the ‘good’ coffee shops where I can sit and watch people and write things while only buying one coffee?

Where will I buy the very specific notebooks I use?

What will I write about when I’m no longer homesick? Will I replace homesickness with another things that dissatisfies me? Will I write a lot about tube strikes?

Will I find a local bookshop where the bookseller will say ‘hello’ in a cheerful and friendly voice but definitely won’t approach me asking if I need any help?

What should I do if I accidentally make friends with people who say ‘it’s political correctness gone mad’?

How do I know exactly how much of my personality is effected by the weather?

Will I find a new local where the manager knows my name and occasionally makes me cocktails on the house that are just gin?

Would my new colleagues think my dinosaur figures that I keep on my desk are “cute” or “ridiculous”?

What if the water tastes weird?

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